


Breathe

by WinterReadingerDixon67



Series: Supernatural Imagines/Oneshots [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Dean Winchester Feels, F/M, Family Feels, Feels, Flashbacks, POV Dean Winchester, Panic Attacks, SPN family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 23:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11657208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterReadingerDixon67/pseuds/WinterReadingerDixon67
Summary: After a hunt went bad, it leaves the trio a bit shaken in more ways than one. Thankfully Dean knows just what to do when that happens.





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thebeastinsideusall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebeastinsideusall/gifts), [M_rude14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_rude14/gifts).



> Swapping POV, thank you both for helping me with this one, as I’m not that well versed in SPN writing.

* * *

 

No one hardly said a word as I drove back to the bunker with Zeppelin softly playing in the background. Sam was letting Bobby know how the hunt went and how they were going to take the next few cases off. Bianca hasn’t said a word since the hunt went down.

I couldn’t blame her, it was a case no hunter ever wanted to come across. Children going missing to only find out that it was a cult of witches who were taking the kids for their black magic ritual bullshit crap they were doing. Did we manage to take them out? Yes, but in the end, it didn’t seem like it was worth it. Ten kids were taken and only one made it out, only for him to die two hours later in the ER. Fuck, the kid was only eight. I should’ve told Bianca to sit this one out, but she’s stubborn for her own good and came along anyway. But I wish she never came with.

I checked on her through the mirror to find her the same way when we left. She was staring off out the window, not focusing on anything in particular. She wasn’t even here, her mind was elsewhere and it scared me. Bianca was affected the most on this fucked up case. Why? I wasn’t so sure.

It didn’t take us much longer until the engine shut off when I parked inside the bunker, Bianca grabbed her bag with a quick, ‘Taking a shower and going the fuck asleep, later losers.’ over her shoulder. Sam and I shared a worried glance.

“Bianca going to be okay?” Sam asked me looking at the door.

“I honestly have no idea. She hasn’t been the same since it went down, Sam.” We grabbed our bags and made our way inside, silently hoping to forget about this whole thing.

\-----------------

_I ran towards the building as fast as my legs could take me. His screams begging me to find him. It was all my fault, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I was only getting food, I told him to hide. Why did I leave him?_

_I reach the building and rushed towards where his hiding place was, but I was too late. I came to a skidding halt as I saw his tiny frame unmoving on the hardwood floor with a figure standing above him. From the descriptions my father told me, I could tell instantly that it was a witch. So I did the only thing I could think of, I took the tire iron I carried with me and swung it at them. It wouldn’t have really made a difference and probably couldn’t do jack shit, but at the moment I didn’t care. But they just laughed at me and disappeared. I dropped down next to him and cradled his head to my chest, holding his battered up teddy bear between us._

_“I’m so sorry, Tommy, I’m so sorry I failed you.”_

I jerked awake and found myself struggling to breathe. My door opens, the hallway light streaming into the darkness of my room.

“Bianca? You alright?” Dean slipped passed the door and quickly made his way towards me. He brushed the tears away and held my head in his hands, speaking calmly to me.

“Bianca, you gotta breathe, okay? You need to breathe with me, you’re hyperventilating. Just follow me, okay?” I focused the green flecks in Dean’s eyes, grasping his wrists tightly as I listened to him talk to me. His voice pushed aside the gruesome memories, bringing me back to the present.

“You’re going to be fine B, come here.” Dean pulled me to him, maneuvering us so he was leaning against the headboard with me resting against him. He ran his callused fingers through my hair, as I breathed in deeply. Releasing his shirt from my clenched fist.

“You want to talk about it?” He asked, kissing my temple gently.

“I-I, yeah, yeah, I need to.” With a sigh, I sit up and lean against the headboard, our shoulders touching. I took his hand in mine and studied it for a bit, so I could get my thoughts together.

“Dean, have you ever gone through an event in your life where it left you wishing you could’ve done something to prevent it from happening?” He was quiet for a few minutes.

“Yeah, there’s a lot I wish I could go back and fix, but you learn to deal with it.” I looked up at him, before memories of Tommy’s death and the previous hunt came flooding back. I looked back at our linked hands.

“This about the hunt right?” He took my silence as a yes.

“I should’ve done something, Dean. I should’ve been able to save them, instead, I failed! I let all those families down, Dean-”

“Bianca, it wasn’t your fault. If it’s someone’s fault, it’s the bitches who started this in the first place.” By now we were both standing on opposite sides of the bed, chests rising rapidly. Fists clenched at our sides.

“But I couldn’t save them.”

“Well neither could Sam or I, so we have to learn to deal with it!”

“But I couldn’t save my own brother!” Dean’s expression immediately changed from angry, to hurt, and confusion.  

“I couldn’t even save my own brother. Tommy shouldn’t have died. He was only five, Dean, and it was my job to protect him and look how that turned out.” Dean looked at me with sympathy and I couldn’t stand it. I failed Tommy, I failed those kids, it was my fault they didn’t make it. How can Dean ever understand what it feels like? Simple, he can’t.

“Bianca, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Just leave me alone, Dean, please.” I open the door to see Sam standing there with a sad expression, but I pushed passed him and ran down the hallway, unsure where my legs were taking me. Arms clasped around my waist as I let the tears fall.

\-----------

I watched as Bianca pushed passed Sam and ran down the hallway, the sound of a slamming door echoing throughout the hallway. She looked lost, broken, and hateful. Hatred clearly aimed at herself. I understood the case was rough on her, who wouldn’t be shaken by this? But I never knew it was this bad.

Sam turns back to me from where she previously ran down the hallway. “What happened Dean? B going to be okay?”

“I honestly have no idea, Sam. The case hit her harder than I thought. Let’s…let’s just give her some space. I’ll check on her tomorrow.” We stood there for a while longer, before we both headed back to bed. Planning on how to approach her the next day.

\-------

Bianca never showed up for breakfast this morning and both Sam and I were both finishing lunch and there was still no sign of her. I knocked on her door several times, but I never received a response other than silence. With a sigh, I decided to make her some food anyway.

I put together a simple sandwich, apple slices, and grabbed a water out of the fridge. “I’m gonna try again Sam, see what happens.”

He nods in agreement. “You need anything from me? I was going to go do a supply run and return some books.”

“Nah man, I’m good. Call me when you’re on your way back?”

“Yeah, give a B a hug for me?” I nod and make my way towards her room, while Sam left to run errands.

Grabbing her plate and water, I made my way back down to her room just in case if she ended up back there. When her room was empty, I checked the library, armory, even the bathroom. The last place to check was the garage, and there she was. Bianca was lying in the back seat curled up with the blanket we kept in the back. I could hear Led Zeppelin playing softly through the open windows.

“Hey hotshot, mind if I join you?” Bianca slowly comes to and looks at me, as I peer through the glass.

“Dean, w’re doin’ ‘ere?” She grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she sat up.

“Well, since you slept through breakfast, thought I’d whip you up something. Can’t have you going hungry on us, now can we?” I slowly opened the door and held the food out to her. Bianca looked at it, then grabbed it.

“Get in before you let me freeze to death.” She smiled softly, holding up the blanket so I could get underneath. With her legs situated on my lap, food in hand, she sat back and ate. I wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk about Tommy yet and I wasn’t going to push her too either.

“I couldn’t save Sam,” I took a swig of my beer staring straight ahead, “sure he’s alive now, but,” I cleared my throat thinking back to the time where Azazel brought all of these special kids to a ghost town and had to fight each other to the death.

“He ah, he and a guy named Jake was left. Sam was able to kick him to the ground and everything was fine, ya know?” I chuckle softly, unaware of Bianca’s full attention on me. “Sam’s coming up to me, then all of a sudden Jake comes up behind Sam and stabs him with a fucking knife.” I finish off my beer and take a deep breath. “Bobby went after him, but that son of a bitch got away, but Sam, he...Sam died in my arms, B.”

She rests her hand on my arm, giving it a tight squeeze. I give her a tight smile in return. “Couldn’t even save my mom. ‘Course that’s a different story for another time.” I take her hand in mine and turn towards her. “So don’t you dare say it’s your fault Tommy died, because I’ve been there too many times to count, and each time kills me.” She looks away but doesn’t remove her hand.

“I’m not telling you that you have to tell me what happened. Not today, not tomorrow, or even next week, but please remember that Sam, Cas, Bobby, and I are all here for you. We’re family, we take care of each other.” I brush the lone tears that made their way down her face, kissing her temple softly, before gathering her into my arms. Minutes later, we were asleep in the protective walls of the Impala.

\---------------

After having that talk with Dean, I felt better. I was still shaken up, but I’m well enough to grace the others with my presence. The boys stayed up late doing research for some fellow hunters every night for the past few days, which left them dead to the world the next day. So, I thought it would be nice to make them both breakfast.

The table was set with three place settings, juice, coffee, syrup, butter, yogurt, and fruit were all put on the table. Eggs and bacon came next, all that was left was the pancakes.

Just as the last of the pancake batter landed on the grill, groans and complaints filled the kitchen. Both Sam and Dean looked exhausted. It was funny to see Sam’s hair all over the place. They groggily sat down on the table, Sam helping himself to some orange juice, Dean getting coffee. With the last of the pancakes done, I joined them and began to help myself as well.

“Bianca, you didn’t have to do all this.” Sam looked at me with a grateful smile, Dean hummed in response as he helped himself to more food.

“Well I definitely, don’t mind it. B makes the best damn pancakes I’ve ever had.” I stifled a giggle as Dean continued to eat.

“I don’t mind Sam, besides, you and Dean have been busting your balls off. You guys deserve a break and need some decent food in you before you go back to it.” I filled a bowl with yogurt and topped it with fruit. “Not to mention, you guys have been a great help to me these past few days.”

Shortly after Dean and I talked, I told both of them about Tommy. How he died, how my parents were both hunters but tried their best to stay out of it, for our own safety. How that didn’t last long before my mother and father both died from a werewolf. How I held my father’s hand, telling me to keep Tommy safe. To be smart, leave no traces, take his notebook filled with everything I needed to know, get in the truck and drive. Drive away as fast as I could, far away as possible. So I gave them a hunter’s burial, grabbed Tommy and left. A thirteen-year-old, fighting against monsters to keep my five-year-old brother safe.

No one should’ve had to go through that. No one.

Sam's strong hand reached over and squeezed mine. “That’s what we’re here for B, you don’t have to do this alone. And Dean’s right, you do make the best damn pancakes I’ve ever had.” He gave me a smile, before getting up to put his dishes in the sink. “I’m just going to drop off what we found at Bobby’s and pick up a few things on the way back.”

Sam kissed the top of my head quickly before he left to get changed and leave. I helped Dean clear off the table and put the food away. As I started the dishes, strong arms wrapped around me, I leaned back into the strong chest contently. His lips were soft as they lingered on my skin, breathing me in.

“I’m really proud of you, Bianca.” I set the last of the plate aside, turning around to face him. Green eyes locked with mine, searching my face fondly.

“What for?” Before I could ask Dean again, his calloused hands cupped my face and kissed me. His lips were chapped, but I didn’t care, they molded and felt perfectly against mine. My hands made their way to the back of his head, gripping his hair lightly. His hands shifted to hold me against him tightly as if they never wanted to let me go. And I didn’t want them to. But eventually, we both had to come up for air. Foreheads resting against each other’s, breathing in the same air, Dean and I stood there just taking each other in.

“For trusting me enough for telling me Tommy’s story. For letting me help you even though you didn’t want it. For, for being there for me when I told you about Sam. For not pushing me about what happened to m-my mom, just…” I kissed him again, softly, taking his face into my hands. I ran my thumbs across his cheeks, my heart breaking at the far off hurt look in his misty green eyes. I no longer saw my Dean, I saw a glimpse of a man who looked lost, who was trying so hard not to let his emotions take over and break down the walls he tried so desperately to build.

“ _Thank you_ for giving me time to tell you and for always helping me.” I wiped away a stray tear that made its way out of his eye, “And I will _always_ be here for you Dean, just as you’ve always been here for me. Because...because I love you, Dean. I always have.” Green eyes sparkled back at me, Dean was back. _My_ Dean was back and it felt as if the world came back to life. He smiled once more before kissing me once again.

“I love you, Bianca. I love you so much I feel as if I can breathe again.” He said against my lips. I smiled back at him, looking at the green eyes I fell so in love with. I hugged him tightly, which he more than gladly returned, “I love you too.” I whispered softly into his neck.

For the first time in my life since Tommy’s death, I finally felt as if I could breathe again without fear. The road ahead of us might be rough, but with Dean at my side, it won’t be as bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to get all caught up in everything before school starts again, so continue to be patient with me! And thanks so much for reading, leaving kudos and comments! :D


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